*Written at roadside coffee shack in the mountains of Chiang-Mai during a solo-self- love Moto ride to nowhere*

Travelers Depression. Does that sound like an oxymoron to you? I probably would have felt the same way a year ago…hmm, I probably would have felt the same two days ago.

You see, emotions are an incredibly complicated aspect of the human experience. We’ve all tasted the extreme highs; your first kiss, an insanely perfect day of unplanned adventure with friends, a beautiful hike through nature that takes your breath away…these are just some examples of what I would consider ‘major emotional highs’; in these briefest of moments we’re experiencing our peak- absolute bliss.

Then we have a bad day- a REALLY bad day. Your first heart break, the death of a loved one, failure of a company…and it feels like you’ve been swallowed into a black hole. It’s like ‘the sunken place’; you see the outside world passing you by but you feel the perfect storm of emotion, of wanting to scream, cry, fight, f*ck but you know none will hear you. It won’t make a difference. The sense of helplessness can be all consuming; like no one knows or cares that beneath the surface, you’re quietly drowning.

And you know what? When you’re a traveler, you may not be entirely wrong.

I think many of us have this idea that travel can be a cure all. “If I can just escape this town, this ex, this job, everything will get better”. I would argue this is one of the greatest misconceptions about traveling and one that I’ve personally had to face head on.

The idea that changing external factors will magically transform your life is a farce. The first week abroad, maybe first month even, you’ll enjoy a nice honeymoon phase for sure. The new smells, languages, connections and opportunities; it’s amazing! You’re using new parts of your brain and the chemicals released are reminiscent of those extreme highs you may have thought were reserved for only a handful of experiences in a lifetime. It’s pretty powerful really.

But then shit gets real. You get pickpocketed and now someone has got your phone full of un-backed-up photos and access to your bank accounts, your luggage gets lost on a trans-national flight across 3 continents and it’s not ‘delayed’ it’s lost. You get fired from that amazing freelance gig you foolishly based your entire 16 month travel trip budget around…and just like that, even in a room full of people, you’ve ‘never felt’ so alone, so helpless (isn’t our emotional memory a funny thing?) Enter the sunken place.

The difference between navigating these experiences at home or abroad is key. That friend who knows you inside out isn’t there to pick up on that slight loss of pep in your step; your favorite bodega comfort food sandwich is now thousands of miles away…when you’re abroad, there will be situations where self-reliance and self-love can literally be the difference between life and death and I’m sad to say that’s not an exaggeration.

All of this is to say the following: if you don’t love you at home, you’ve not going to magically start to love yourself abroad. If you don’t have intrinsic and sustainable self-care rituals at home, they’re not simply going to materialize because you’re in the magical la la land of abroad. In fact, more often than not, you’re going to have to work twice as hard to maintain these habits abroad because you’re navigating the new language, cultural norms, price points, and you name it. Pole Fitness has been one of my vehicles for self- love for the last 5 years or so; I used to live, literally, right next to my studio in South Boston. When I hit one of my first traveler slumps living in Budapest, I needed my pole. I had to take the metro to the tram, to the final walking stretch (a 25 minute commute) all to get my Hungarian pole class where the instructors were super nice…but spoke no English, I had to pay in cash every time (ATM fees and all), and I existed as the only non-eastern European/ student over 110 lbs in every class at every level. When I could barely muster the energy go down my elevator and walk next-door to your HOME studio full of friends and familiar faces, having the motivation to do all THAT mess to get to pole in a foreign country?! All in the name of self- love?? It requires some serious discipline, self-awareness, and self-regulation; I think it is here where many of us digital nomads falter.

Look, I’m not an expert ‘Career Nomad’, nor am I licensed therapist. But as someone who has really learned what it means to embrace their ’cycles’ I’ve created a short list of ways that I use to combat the darkness during my bouts of travel depression and who knows; maybe they will be helpful for you, if/when you have your first experience with Travelers Depression.

See the list here

So. Once again, I just dropped hella knowledge on you guys..but another topic I’m incredibly passionate about sharing!! What do you think about Travelers Depression? Every experience anything like it? I’d love tp hear from you and as always, hope you’ll continue to follow my journey via any of the following :)

Ig: @talorwallace

FB: Taylor Wallace

Taylor is a millennial Digital Nomad who has be working and traveling the world for the last three years with no end in sight. Her background is in technology and strategy consulting but her passions lie in the development of physical, emotional, and professional wellness for other location independent entrepreneurs. Check her out at www.thefitfounder.com