I started FYBS because I believe that every woman, regardless of their shape or size, has the right to feel beautiful in the skin they’re in. At 24, I’m closer to living in this mindset than I have ever been before; But I still have a ways to go.

A house of boys required a certain code; you protect each other, you respect each other, you honor the seniority. If 4 year old Taylor saw her 7 year old brother get shoved on the playground, you best believe she was jumping on a back and chocking someone out, no question asked. I felt like I was invincible. I was one of the boys*

*except for when they’d lock me out of the basement during their ‘brothers only’ hang outs. That was whack -_-

In an effort to hone more aspects of my ‘femininity’, my parents enrolled me in a dance academy at 7. By 9, I was on a company with girls up to 13 years old, dancing tap, jazz, and contemporary. I was finally coming into my own as a young lady!

My Introduction to Body Shaming

Winter Showcase November 2000, everything changed. If you’re at all familiar with dance attire and costumes, you know all too well that they’re not really made for…voluptuous women. How are you supposed to hide a freaking sports bra (or 2?!) under that strapless/mesh/sheer/glittery mess? Now imagine the options available to an ‘over developed’ child.

I was 9 years old the first time I consciously remember being made to feel ashamed of my body. I walked in on the older girls on my dance team bouncing their arms up and down under their costumes, making fun of how…active my chest was under my unitard. I guess my developing earlier than my peers and it was gross; weird; comical.

This was my last recital until picking up dance again in high school 5 years later.

Throughout the customer discovery process for FYBS, I’ve had conversations with hundreds of women from AROUND THE WORLD. Every single one had a story similar to mine. A particular event, comment from a loved one, coach, or stranger, a scene from a movie or SOME situation where a switch inside was flipped.

A catalyst that set-in motion years or decades of insecurity, self-doubt, judgement….a perfect storm of fuckery that impacts self-love, relationships, and general happiness.

It seems there is this misconception that if you’re an ambitious, intelligent, or proud woman, you all of a sudden become some infallible robot that is not allowed to have emotions, weakness, or insecurities.

In recent months, I’ve taken a new approach to my self-love journey. I've adopted some of the same principles I used to start my business to my process and here are my favorite 3.

Start Up Principles that Apply to Self Love

1. Surround Yourself With People Who Are Where You WANT to be

Ditch the Debbie Downer friends who are always complaining or talking negatively. We all need a cheerleader every now and then but people who constantly judge themselves or others will introduce an energy into your life that you just don’t need. Opt instead for friends who are positive and supportive; their good vibes are infectious.

2. Study Your Market

In relation to self-love, the ‘market’ is the environment in which you operate. This means, where you hang out, the shows you watch, the accounts you follow on social media, the brands you support, even the activities you enjoy. Start to take note of which of these behaviors make you feel GOOD about yourself, and which ones... not so much.

Bonus: If you’re an over achiever like me, you can spend some time going deeper and try to understand the root of these sentiments. You might be surprised at what you find.

3. Fake it Till You Make it

Last but not least, fake it until you make it! In business, there will be days where you feel so lost, you don’t know which way is up. Similarly, on your Self Love Journey, you will have days where you simply feel ‘blah’. Your hairs doing that weird limp thing you hate, your pants feel tighter than they did the last time you wore them, which makes NO sense because you’ve doubled down at the gym and cut back on the cheesecake from Tatte, and …STOP!

Take a deep breath, put on 'your song', booty pop for like 60 seconds, and own your divine feminine beauty! Quickest way to change your mental state? Change your physical state and get that blood flowing!

Are you also on your own Self Love journey? What has worked well for you? Let's connect, I'd love to hear your story!

@taylorwallace